hey , my name is sushmita. 18 years old . indian . economics student.
i was a perfectly happy person before i met this guy who became m bestfriend. with time we became so close that we nearly fell in love, and he thought i was so enchanting that he and i would be really good together . he did everything for me. picked me up, opened doors for me. took me out for lunches.treated me really amazing-ly. if that is even a word. he was like a dream . but then i made mistakes. made more mistakes. he pointed out once. he pointed out again . and again and again. and it went on forever.
he said things that hurt. no one had ever been so harsh at me .he said he saw potential in me . and thought i could be the best ? ohkay ! well i was happy being the girl i was but okay . i tried changing. the happy girl started crying everyday . right now there are tears running down my cheeks. every time i recall those things whatever he said about me .it hurts me from inside. or should i say it kills me! he says im not like the other girls . he says im different. i believed i was happy. rest didnt matter .now every time i stepped out of the house i have to think for a few moments, will he like what im wearing ? will he compare me with others ?, will he say the hurtful things again ? will i get better? will we be as we were a few months ago ? and then i take a deep breath and i step out . you know ? once i see him i get all smiles. and im happy. he makes me happy. but its not the other way round i guess.. he says i ruined his life sometimes when he is angry . i dont know he loves me but he says all that anyway . am i really that bad ?? am i really not good enough? am i not ENOUGH ? i just wanna sleep and never go back again .and be happy ! he is a nice person though ! he means so much to me<3